Your Journey Does Not Have to Be Linear

As a little girl, I was enthralled by the idea of living a perfect life. I had dreams of becoming a pediatrician and establishing my own children’s hospital all while getting married and raising a family. 

I had a timeline in which I wanted to achieve my goals and I expected all of this to occur by the time I was 35. Whenever I would share these pursuits with adults, I would receive patronizing responses that were masked under the guises of endearing smiles and encouraging words. I believe in dreaming big and affirming myself no matter how large the feat. However, there was an issue with the path I sought to follow in order to achieve my goals. I had a strict timeline that did not leave much room for me to explore, discover myself, and truly define what I wanted.
 
At the age of 16, I realized that becoming a doctor was an aspiration that I no longer held, and I found that this career goal was influenced more by a desire to have prestige rather than having a passion for medicine. Like many of us, I held a very narrow view of success and I thought I needed to follow a perfect plan in order to be successful. Realizing that I no longer wanted to be a doctor was very difficult for me to accept because I felt like I lost my purpose and sense of direction. I was also uncomfortable with the idea of graduating high school and not knowing what I wanted to study in college. 

​Needless to say, I entered my freshman year of college undecided on my major and unclear about what I wanted to pursue professionally. I felt like I was wandering aimlessly, which gave me a lot of anxiety; especially when I encountered peers who seemed to have clear paths and visions of their futures. After the first semester of my freshman year, I realized that not having a plan was okay, and if anything, I had the opportunity to explore and learn more about myself. I needed to take a step back from the self-imposed pressures I held so dear in order to recognize that at 18 years old, I was only just embarking on my journey. Given this, there was (and is) so much that I need to learn and expose myself to. I became more open to new information, opportunities, and experiences even if I was unsure about whether they would align with my long-term goals. In the exploratory process, I realized that my journey would not be linear because I needed to have diverse experiences that would help to mold my path. These experiences would steer my path in directions I never planned for or thought about – taking me through a series of twists and turns vital in my process of self-discovery.
 
I made an active choice to change my perspective by embracing life’s uncertainty rather than running from it. My perspective of college shifted as well as I began to view college as a formative space that fostered my growth and broadened my knowledge and understanding. I no longer saw my classes as requirements needed to obtain my degree, but rather, opportunities for me to discover my interests. In the spring of my sophomore year of college, I took on a second major in African American Studies with a concentration in Public Policy. I love my majors and I am immensely grateful to be studying topics that I have such a keen interest and passion for.

​Although I have discovered what interests me, I still lack clarity on what I want to do and who I want to be. I do not know what kind of job or profession I want to hold and I am trying to determine how I would like to further my education. A looming thought that resides within my mind is “what am I going to do with my life?”. I have made a conscious decision to look at everything I do as an opportunity to learn, rather than as a means to an end. The lessons and insight I gain are what push me forward and promote my progress as I learn more about myself and what I enjoy doing. In the midst of this inner dialogue, I make sure to remember that my journey will not be linear; and it does not have to be in order for me to be successful.
 
My Tips on Navigating a Nonlinear Journey:

1. Be open to trying or learning something new, even if you think it will not interest you.
2. Embrace the uncertainties of life and use them as a means to explore and learn more about yourself.
3. Be open to shifting your plans and taking detours.
4. Follow your interests! Let what you like to do guide you in your decision-making about how you want to spend your time.
5. Focus your attention not just on your future, but also on the present moment and you progress now.
6. Do not be afraid to fail or to try something you may not like - both experiences offer guidance in discerning what you do not want to do or become in the future.
7. Do not compare your journey to the journeys of others as it is often unproductive and can make you feel pressured to rush or alter your process unnecessarily. 

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Written by Senam Okpattah

Senam Okpattah is a Junior at the University of Maryland College Park. She is double majoring in Public Policy and African American Studies with a policy concentration. She interned for The Dinner Table Doc this summer and enjoyed her experience so much, that she decided to return for the fall semester!