I cannot wait to have my own family one day. I am most looking forward to building a strong, healthy family unit.
I want my family to break the stigma and stereotypes that are placed upon black families. These being broken, unstable homes, absent fathers, and, my main concern, unhealthy or no communication at all.
I come from a family where communication is encouraged. However, this was not always the standard. My family has been through a great deal. Though our situations have made us stronger, we did not actually talk about our reality until after an incident. Many emotions that we harbored were revealed that exposed a lot of trauma that is still fresh. If these feelings had been spoken about during the hardship, this would have fostered an even stronger and more trustworthy relationship between us. In addition, my siblings and I would not have felt alone in dealing with what we were feeling.
Though beneficial communication has not always been the standard within my family, everything is a work in progress. We have ways that we cope through difficult times, ways that we uplift and encourage one another, and ways that we simply are present for each other. Whether it be family game nights, dinner outings, or intense Nerf® gun fights in the living room—we add fun and light to our relationship. In addition, we recognize that there may be times when we simply need to sit down and talk. Everyone gets everything off of their chest and we just check in with each other. These methods, though they may not be extreme measures, are effective for us. Problems continue to be addressed and avoided through these ways that we come together as a unit.
My goal is to give my children a better life than I have had—I do not want them to feel alone. I will feel accomplished if they do not struggle with the same things that I did. Fostering a healthy environment where they can talk to not only me, but anyone in the family, is a goal of mine. I will set the standard to communicate before things get hard. This will allow for us to communicate about anything, not just the difficult. All of it—the good, the bad, the ugly. Healthy communication will be the norm.
Written By Maia Wells
I am 19 years old, born and raised in Jacksonville, Florida. I am currently about to graduate with my Associates in Arts degree, then pursue a journalism degree at a four year university. Writing is my first love, but I also have a deep adoration for the arts. One day, I hope to own my own news network surrounding music and culture in communities of color.
4/13/2020 06:55:37 am
Love this! This topic is needed especially in the black community. Often times things can be swept under the rug to avoid conflict or putting people in a vulnerable place, but it’s all for growth. Keep going love ❤️😘.
4/13/2020 07:57:05 am
Thank you, sis!! Your support means everything. ❤️
4/13/2020 07:59:18 am
This is absolutely a necessity for families.
4/13/2020 01:27:28 pm
Love you always, Gramps. Thank you.
4/13/2020 08:48:53 am
DeLores Tice (MeMa)
4/13/2020 04:07:14 pm
Very well written! The content is excellent and holds a real truth. Your love for writing is evident! Keep your writing as an outlet for you and continue to inspire others. I am so proud of you!
4/13/2020 06:03:49 pm
Thank you Mema. Love you so much.
5/5/2020 09:13:03 am
I truly enjoyed reading your article and getting to know you better through your article. In the future, when it is time for me to start a family, I will have an open-door policy with my children and spouse. In African American homes, parents always say they have an open-door policy, but they really don’t and this affects many kids.
5/6/2020 11:37:45 pm
I absolutely loved how you shared your triumph and your take on the situation of communication! I really connected with that, this was great!
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