How Is It That We Make Time for Family During the Holidays but Not on a Daily Basis?
Written by Brittany
“A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving” playing in the background, family laughing and joking, the smell of mac & cheese, honey-glazed ham, oven roasted chicken, and cheesy lasagna filling your nose with its beautiful aromas and the atmosphere filled with holiday spirit. Now imagine experiencing this every night. Picture being able to enjoy a beautiful home cooked meal, connecting with your loved ones, having a positive vibe and leaving the stress of the world at the door. Why can’t we experience this every night? Is it due to us being too busy? Or do we choose only to gather together on special occasions?
“Leave it to beaver”and “Father knows best”, shows in the 1950s, emphasized the importance of family dinners and a nuclear family. The dining room was a place where a family could be a family. In one of the scenes of the show “Leave it to beaver”, the family was gathered together enjoying a home cooked meal. With the parents sitting at both ends of the table, the father asked his two sons Theodore (beaver) and Willy how was their day at school, while beaver excused himself from the table, Willy explained how his day went and how his teacher’s jokes weren’t funny which caused his father to burst into laughter. This family dynamic didn’t only happen in the 50s but also in the late 70s and 80s. In the late 70s and 80s, family dinners were a must in the household especially black households. “Good Times”, a show in the 70s, showed a family gathering together around the kitchen table. No matter what the family went through, if it be racism, finding ways to pay rent, stress at school or work, they would come together, say grace and leave the stress of the world at the door. For example, in season 2 episode 24 “the lunch money rip-off”, Micheal was being bullied in school and instead of fighting his bully like his father suggested, he brought his bully home to help him study. While his bully was there, he was amazed at how Micheal’s family interacted together. They were able to joke, respectively speak their minds with each other and have a positive vibe. In the 80s, my mother also had the same family dynamic as the Evans family. She remembered coming home from school with her brother and sister, doing their homework before supper, and coming together around the dining table to eat as a family. She will always cherish those memories because they were special moments she spent with her family. Women in the 50s and in shows like “Leave it to beaver” the moms were housewives, so dinner was “expected” on the dinner table but in the 70s and 80s, not only were the men working dads but the moms were as well which did not stop family dinners from continuing. The parents still made sure that it was something that they continue to do as a family.
According to sociologist, James H.S. Bassard believed that “it is at the dining table, and particularly at dinner time, that the family is opt to be at its greatest ease.” Family dinners were safe places away from the stress of the world and where one can speak freely with family members. As time passes and traditions change, family dinners become a thing of the past and only happens on the holidays. With everyone on social media and phones being the most important things in our daily lives, putting the phones down and having family dinners can reduce depression and anxiety. By having a face to face communication with a loved one, it can create a strong emotional support environment and not only that, make a child and teenager feel comfortable to approach their parents with problems in their lives.
My mom has enforced this type of mannerism to my sisters and I as well. When we would come together at the dinner table to eat, my mother would tell us to put the phones or games away and enjoy this time together. This has allowed me to appreciate these moments not only on thanksgiving but everytime we gather around the dining table to eat as a family. Family dinners at my house have not only become a tradition but something we love and look forward to doing.
Family dinners shouldn’t only be a holiday or special occasion concept, but it should be mandatory. There are many benefits for family dinners that won’t only help children but develop a closer family bond between family members. This can help improve mental health, reduce stress, lower risk of behavioral problems, and perform well academically. So get your family and eat together, not just on the holidays but everyday. Make and enjoy those special moments together.